When Your Healing Process Doesn’t Fit into a Pretty Little Box
Are you in the middle of a healing process that seems to be taking too long?
Maybe you are leaning into Jesus and learning all you can along the way but everything still feels like a mess.
It may seem as those around you either never needed to go through a healing process or that they were much more efficient in healing from what they went through.
The healing process can take much longer than we expect it to, and it can often be much messier than we think it should be.
Whether you are in an emotional, mental, physical, or spiritual battle (or what may seem like all of these at once), I want to encourage you today.
I was talking with someone recently, and she asked: “Why does it seem like everyone else has these great stories of redemption and freedom, but I am still struggling?”
Everyone else seemed further ahead than she was, and she felt defeated.
From my point of view (as someone who shares my story publicly) when people share their stories of healing or freedom, there is often a risk of looking like they have a finished product that fits into a pretty little box with a nice bow on top.
It can be easy to get frustrated with our own journey when others seem to be much further ahead.
We can often see the evidence of freedom and redemption in other people’s lives, but what we often don’t see is everything in between.
Your healing process may not fit into a neat little package with a nice bow on top, and (if people are honest), many people will tell you their stories don’t either. This will look different for everyone, of course, but what we see on the outside is often much different than what takes place on the inside of a person’s heart and life.
For instance, my first book may take you a few days or weeks to read, but what I share in that book covers several years of my life. My healing process has not fit into a nice, neat little package with a pretty bow on top. It has looked more like this:
This is part of the reason why I often use the word “process”. This is all a process. The process of healing and freedom includes mistakes, trials, failures, times of testing, perseverance, learning how to completely surrender our lives and hearts to Jesus, more trials, and the need for grace.
It can take much longer than expected, and it changes over time.
There were many times of wondering if my particular trials would ever end.
I try to be very transparent and honest with what I share, but I don’t share everything right away. I need time to process everything before I share it with everyone, and there’s plenty of times I decide not to share anything at all.
A good example of this was when my marriage was going through a trying time a few years ago. When you have the kind of testimony I do, some people seem to wait on the edge of their seats for your marriage to fail so they can call you a fraud. It’s sad but true. I waited a couple of years before I wrote about it. (I wasn’t even sure I would ever say anything.)
After a couple of years had passed, I was ready to write about it. I am quite sure everything looked much more put together in my post than it felt in real life. If I would have shared something right away, it would have not been for the right reasons and would have come from a very hurt and bitter heart. Out of respect for my marriage and family (and myself), I waited.
I have found tremendous healing and freedom in my life, but my story is far from over. Jesus will continue to heal my heart and refine me until the day I die.
The past several years have been a learning process for me that has included many trying times in between all of the breakthroughs, times of healing, and walking in freedom.
Your journey may not fit into a neat little box with a perfect bow on top, but that’s ok! Jesus is probably doing much more than you can see right now.
When we compare others’ journeys that we see from the outside with what we know about ourselves from the inside, this will leave us feeling defeated every time.
Try to be patient with yourself. I know that might not be easy!
Your story of freedom and redemption is being written right now. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. It may not feel like it, but if you continue to persevere, one day you will look back and see just how far you have come.
I had a horrible day yesterday , adding to my horrible last 3 months of my life. I felt so defeated. Every minister I listened to was quoting scriptures that made me feel more defeated. I felt like everyone was being healed and seeing deliverance and break throughs but me. All I have heard are ministers and others saying to me that I am not praying enough, reading the Bible enough, in a curch( i I can hardly walk now, let alone sit more than 40 min. ) . I am not praying enough. I found myself overwhelmed by dr appts scans tests , what ministers online an friends said I should and shouldn’t do. Everyone points out my wrongs and no one ever said I may be ok where I am and God still has his hand on me. He is still involved in my life and loves me despite the fact I am the only one not healed. delivered etc God hasn’t given up on me. I needed to hear someone say this to me. Thank u so much. I feel like maybe I can start over . It isn’t hopeless. God doesn’t have me at the bottom of a list because I can’t be perfect right now I am going to try to rest in God’s love and start over and not to give up. Thank you.
Shayne, I am so sorry to hear how difficult this has been for you. I am so glad this post encouraged you. You and I should talk sometime! I can relate to what you wrote maybe even more than you realize.