Today I am excited to share a guest post from Shelley Hitz from Christian Women and Porn. Shelley co-authored the book, “A Christian Woman’s Guide to Breaking Free From Pornography.” It is being offered free on her website today and tomorrow. I had the opportunity to read it ahead of time, and I think it’s a great and valuable resource for any woman who struggles with pornography. Be sure to see to check it out at the end of her guest post below. Thank you, Shelley!
Twelve years ago, I looked at internet pornography for the first time. This led to a two year struggle with many ups and downs. Eventually, I hit a breaking point and was desperate to change. I would tell myself, “I’m not going to do it, I’m not going to do it, I’m not going to do it.” And guess what? I would do it. It was an endless cycle that led me to feeling hopeless.
However, the story doesn’t end there.
Today I am free and have been for about a decade. And one of my first steps to freedom from sexual sin was having a willingness to surrender to God. I needed to stop trying in my own strength and ask Him for help. God then led me on a process to healing and eventual freedom from pornography and masturbation.
Tools for Change
There were many things that helped me as I began to break free from my porn addiction. Something helpful I did was to recognize the consistent triggers in my life. In order to do this, I used a blank calendar. On the calendar, I marked each day with either a V (victory) or NV (no victory). You can use any terms you want, but that was what seemed to work for me. Then, on the days I didn’t have victory, I would write what seemed to be the trigger that day. You can see my actual calendar from June 2000 below. As you can see, one of my biggest triggers was loneliness.
What Are Your Triggers?
You can easily create your own calendar to do the same thing during your recovery. Simply print off a calendar and then keep track of the days you have victory and when you don’t. On the days you don’t, mark what seemed to be your biggest triggers that day. Print off a blank calendar using Microsoft Word or at sites like www.calendarlabs.com.
H.A.L.T. – One Acronym to Remember
Have you heart of the H.A.L.T. acronym? It stands for hungry, angry, lonely and tired. These are four common triggers for us all. And the more of them you experience at one time, the more vulnerable you are to giving in to your coping mechanisms. Make sure to note if you are experiencing any of the H.A.L.T. triggers when you are marking your calendar.
Even though tools like using a trigger calendar can help, remember that ultimately lasting freedom comes only through Christ. It is a process that may take time, but don’t give up. Freedom is well worth it.
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1
Shelley Hitz has been ministering alongside her husband, CJ, since 1998. They currently travel and speak to teens and adults around the country. Shelley’s main passion is to share God’s truth and the freedom in Christ she has found with others. She does this through her books, websites and speaking engagements. Shelley’s openness and vulnerability, as she shares her own story of hope and healing, will inspire and encourage you.
Shelley has been writing and publishing books since 2008 including the book she co-authored with S’ambrosia Curtis, “A Christian Woman’s Guide to Breaking Free From Pornography: It’s Not Just a Guy’s Problem.” During their book launch on 9/26/12 – 9/27/12, you can download a free Kindle copy and also enter to win over $450 worth of resources. Find out more at www.ChristianWomenandPorn.com
