Have you ever felt like the tears behind your eyes are going to burst through like a tsunami, but it just wasn’t the right time to cry?
- You’re in public.
- You’re with your kids.
- You are at work.
- You have to prepare for a project or for people coming over to your house.
- You need to help someone else.
There could be any number of reasons why it is never a good time to cry.
“What if the tears never stop?”
“What if I get swallowed up in grief and can never snap out of it?”
“What if I make a fool out of myself?”
If I’m going to be honest, I have to say I have been there many times.
Maybe this is where you are, too.
I have been reflecting on the past few years. My heart endured more than I was able to process at times. It was multi-layered. I went through those kinds of situations that you are not supposed to talk about.
For some of it, I was told to move on and get over it before I had the chance to process what even happened…
But the real problem is, I told myself the very same thing.
“I should be over this.”
“Why is this affecting me so much?”
“No one else seems to be affected so deeply.”
“Why can’t I pull myself together?”
“I need to just move on and forget about all of it.”
In telling myself these things, I stuffed my grief. I stuffed intense pain while not knowing what else to do. Did I talk to God about this? Yes. I poured my heart out to Him time and time again…yet my heart still hurt.
My heart felt raw, yet numb at the same time.
Each time a wave of grief or deep sadness poured over me, it often seemed to be at a really inconvenient time.
If you are in the same place in your life right now, I need to let you in on a little secret. (I am reminding myself of this at the same time.)
One of the ways Jesus heals our hearts is through tears.
I know this, because it is one of the ways He has healed my heart, time and time again. It’s funny how I can know this, yet still hesitate to let myself go there again.
I know what’s on the other side…
Fear tells me there is unending grief, unending pain, humiliation, regret and all sorts of other things on the other side.
That is not true, though. That is a lie.
On the other side of letting yourself cry the tears that you have been holding back is:
Healing for your heart.
Restoration for your soul.
Society often tries to tell us that tears are a bad thing. They are a sign of weakness and a sign that we need to be stronger. Even well-meaning Christians can give us the impression that tears are a sign of our faith not being strong enough. Even worse, we can tell ourselves these very same things.
That is simply not true.
Tears are a gift that Jesus can use to heal our heart and to restore our souls.
It’s ok to cry.
It’s not just ok to cry, but it is good to cry.
There may never be that perfect time to cry. Trust that God has your back in this. To look at it another way, crying is a way of releasing the pain (even the poison) inside of you. Jesus can do amazing healing in your heart in the process. I am reminding myself of this as well, as I write this. He wants to heal your heart, and He wants to heal mine.
There is such safety in entrusting our hearts to Him in this way.
