There are many women who read my blog who struggle with the desire to be in a sexual relationship with another woman. I have published many posts and videos for women who are wrestling with their sexuality in this way, but today I want to address a different situation.
Today I am addressing this question I am asked often:
“I am a woman who has been struggling with watching porn. I am suddenly finding myself attracted to the women, but I have always been straight. Now I would rather watch lesbian porn. Does this mean I am now gay or bi-sexual?”
Can you relate to this? If so, I am writing this for you. ❤️
I am writing this post to encourage any women who have looked at any kind of porn (on purpose or by accident) and unexpectedly felt an attraction to the women you saw. Now you’re questioning what that means.
If you have read my blog before, you know of the struggle I had with pornography. It is incredibly destructive. (Jesus healed my heart, though, and He can do the same for you!) The attraction I had toward women before I ever watched pornography grew by leaps and bounds once I started watching it.
Porn rewires your brain. This is only one of the reasons it is so destructive to watch.
Pornography is designed to arouse and create a response in everyone who see it.
If you are a woman who has a physical and/or emotional response to women in porn (and not in real life), please know that this does not mean you are bi-sexual or gay.
It can be difficult to navigate through this, because we live in a society that is fixated on sexual identity. If you ask the world to make sense of these feelings/attractions, you will most likely come to the conclusion that you are bi-sexual or gay.
I am writing this whole post today to tell you that this is not true.
We have an enemy who lies, and he often does it by attacking our identities.
Maybe you have no desire to physically act on these thoughts, but you are so confused about why seeing these women is suddenly so appealing to you in the first place. Maybe you are feeling so fearful about this that your thoughts are a jumbled up mess over it all.
I want to break this down a little…
- Do you put yourself in the place of the women you see in porn?
- Do you imagine being desired in the same way?
- Do you wish you could look like the women you see in porn?
- Do you wish you had a deep, intimate connection (like the women in lesbian porn appear to have)?
- Maybe you secretly wish you could have the same power over others that is portrayed in the scenes you have watched?
- Does the scene of two women together seem appealing to you because men are unsafe in your eyes?
I’m asking these questions (which is not an exhaustive list at all), because sometimes the attractions we can feel is really a desire for something else. Sometimes we crave intimacy or a deep emotional connection, and the pornography acts as a substitution.
Please also realize that since pornography was created to stir up arousal, you may simply be experiencing what the porn industry hoped you would feel.
Pornography warps everything God created as good.
It is a counterfeit substitute for the God-given desire we all have for love, intimacy and connection. You have an enemy who would like nothing more than to heap confusion, shame, and fear on you in an effort to turn your focus away from Jesus. We have to be so careful to guard our eyes and hearts. Watching porn opens people up to the enemy in a way that most people never knew could happen.
If you have been dealing with anything related to what I wrote about today, know that God is lovingly reminding you of who He made you to be. He loves you so very much! No matter what you have been experiencing or feeling, what HE says about you is the most powerful.
There is incredible life found when you embrace who He created you to be.
Maybe you are just now realizing that you have been believing lies straight from the enemy. I have found that when you mix situations like this with fear, they seem even more real (another trick of the enemy). Ask God to reveal to you the truth of who you are, and He will. Ask Him to heal your heart, and He will begin the process of doing so.
Hold on tightly to the truth and revelation He gives you. Write it down so you will have it later!
If you are going through this alone, I encourage you to talk to someone. Find a trustworthy person to talk to, and find accountability. This is so important! If you don’t know who to talk to, please pray for God to bring someone into your life to talk to.
My prayer is that by even just reading this post today some of you have already been set free of the lies the enemy has been whispering in your ears. I believe blinders, confusion, fear, and deception are being removed so you can see (and believe) the truth of who God says you really are.
Repent, renounce, and ask forgiveness for everything you have participated in. Verbally break ties with all of it. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to your remembrance anything you need to give to God. Lean on Him to renew your mind to see yourself (and other women) as you were created to be.
No matter what our individual struggles may look like, we all need to grab a hold of the grace Jesus supplies for each one of us. He loves us, and we cannot do this successfully without Him. We can walk in freedom when we embrace who God created and redeemed us to be.
This is all a process, but if you keep going you will find rest for your soul, and you will be led into intimacy with the One who loves you and treasures your heart more than anyone!
*If you would like some individual encouragement, prayer, or guidance in this area, please visit my life coaching, online groups, and individual prayer ministry pages for more info.
